Toraigan

<sup>It's the beginning of November. I've been in Orlando for a little over three months now, and those months have been some of the craziest, most exciting, best times of my life.

I've forced myself to be more social and outgoing during the past three months than I probably have in all of my life, and I'm having an absolute blast. (Okay, I'm probably still comparatively lifeless but it's a milestone for me anyway.) I've met a ton of great friends and we've done some really fun things together. Our little subcultural family can be a bit dysfunctional at times but it's easy to overlook the quirks and appreciate it as a whole. At least that's how I find it. (Ironically it feels like an anime.) It's actually been a really pleasant surprise for me because I did not expect at all to find many friends let alone be welcomed into a group when I moved here. I didn't used to be the social type. Quite the opposite actually. I've never been one to be considered 'one of the gang'. I've always been rather peripheral when it comes to friend circles. (I attribute this to my being so quiet and shy, which I'm gradually overcoming, and also the fact that I'm generally a third wheel.) Now it seems I've somehow managed to emerge inside the circle, not just the quiet antisocial artist in the corner who makes everyone feel awkward. I would have denied the possibility of it ever happening adamantly a half a year ago, but it's fun being inside the circle. I think I'm opening up my eyes a little bit more. It feels good to be a part of the gang.

That aside, my studies are going well. I'm learning 3DStudio Max, which is a great deal easier than I had expected it to be. Unfortunately it also further confirms the cynicism I've always had toward most CGI art/ animation, but as if the world knew I would be dispirited at this it also provided a counter to renew my faith in the ability of CGI to be molded into a fine art medium despite its obvious cheapness: Legend of the Guardians was released about two months ago, and it left me completely speechless. I never get teary-eyed for any reason. Ever. Period. But all three times I've seen this movie now I've found myself tearing up numerous times during the feature. The art....everything about it was breathtaking. Amazing. The attention to detail and realism the modelers and animators had. Just wow. I don't think there's a more beautifully animated movie in existence. This movie is now solely my most revered animated feature ever. Even more so than Don Bluth's works, and that's saying a lot as he is one of my heroes.

On a similar note watching LoTG and studying it for just what made it such a masterpiece has given me more insight into where I personally want to take my art and what it is I strive to achieve in my art. It's also given me a strong nudge in the direction of thinking about a specialization in character modeling.

(It's funny, when I was growing up it was:"What do you want to be when you grow up, Sarah?" "An artist." Then it became: "What kind of an artist do you want to be?" "An animator." Now it is: "What kind of an animator do you want to be?" )

On a last note, I just got hired on by a huge government contractor as a Graphic Artist. (ﾟДﾟ|||) This is a huge step forward in my career. I told myself going into the interview that I would be extremely honored to even be considered for the position even if I didn't get it. It really makes me feel good about what I do. Being chosen for the position, I'm completely enthralled and I know that God is giving me a once in a lifetime opportunity. It's still sinking in.</sup>

<sup>I haven't really updated my journal in a while, so I figured I'd let everyone know the scoop on my current life. Because I know that everyone is probably just sitting on the edge of their seats and frothing at the mouth waiting to find out the all the delicious details of my various goings-on.

(Um...when did I update last again?)

Let's see. I got my A.A. degree and have transferred to UCF in Orlando in order to complete their Animation B.F.A. degree. Turns out I'm one of the last few classes to be able to complete this program because the school, like everyone else, is running into financial issues and is cutting a bunch of their programs including B.F.A. Animation.

(They claim that they're 'merging' the B.F.A. Animation and B.A. Digital Media Animation program into one program in lieu of eliminating either of them, but the reality is that they're completely eliminating the B.F.A. Animation program and keeping the Digital Media Animation program, re-naming it, and throwing in a few of the former B.F.A. courses. Which is quite a problem for students like me who want to focus mainly on the traditional and artistic aspects of animation versus the programming and technical aspects as per the DM program(s). My heart truly goes out to anyone who was looking to get into this program and will find out it's been discontinued, because for a while I thought that I fell into that lot. But it turns out I don't fall into that lot, thank God. I think there's one more year of students who may be able to take it? But that's only if you declared your major before Fall 2009 and have maintained continuous enrollment in a Florida public college ever since.

Look at that. I told myself that I wouldn't rant on this issue. But shit if I can't figure out a way to explain it without ranting unintentionally ranting. :/)Oh well, you don't want to hear all the technical hodge-podge of my scholastic dealings I'm sure.

So I'm living in Orlando now, just moved into my new apartment last week. That's my biggest news I guess. My first time out on my own. :joy: I was really, really homesick at first but now I'm beginning to warm up to it. Class starts on the 23rd, so I have about a month to work and do...whatever. Time to brush up on my technique! I'm hoping that being alone in my own place will help to pull me out of the creative rut I seem to have fallen into lately.

OH RIGHT. I also got published! My 'Heaven's Finest Dandelions' piece was chosen to be the front cover of the Blackwater Review, which is the showcase journal put out annually by Northwest Florida State College.

My hometown has also fallen victim to a post-apocalyptic industrial accident the size of which dwarfs anything else that has ever occurred like it.

In conclusion, I will destroy Britannia.</sup>

<sup>*Sigh*

Well..

..prepare for some vent art.

Time to beat up Lelouch, Vash, or Zetsubou Sensei.</sup>

<sup>Well, it looks like UCF liked my portfolio and accepted me into their BFA Animation program. Whew, that's a load off my back. For now anyway. At least I don't have to worry about not getting in. Now just to finish up my final AA semester, lol.

(And figure out a way to pay for my move, and my classes, and my supplies, and my continued living.)

(And find a decent apartment with a non-partying, drug-free, quiet roomate who tolerates bunies. :> )

No, UCF is not the premier art academy, nor is it the latest in technology. It's not particularly renowned for its art programs. I won't get to stamp my resume with some prestigious brand-name school. But it's not about the school. It's not about the equipment. It's not about the degree. For an artist those things are all icing on the cake; it's about the art, the technique, the skills I will be able to learn. The experience I'll gain. You get out what you put in, regardless of the school or situation. Make the best of it.

(Which is a fortunate statistic, given that I would be dead in the water at $40k a year for the likes of schools like Ringling or SCAD. :k )

Animation. It's such a tough, gruesome, competitive, unstable field to shoot for. Most people don't make it and I am fully aware that I could well wind up in that number, but I honestly feel that to deny myself the opportunity would be to commit a serious crime against my soul. So as planned, I'm going for it. If it just so happens that in the end I'm not one of the brave few who manage to survive and break into the animation industry, I'll be able to be at peace with myself in the knowledge that it is through no fault of my own, because I will have tried my damnedest. That, I'll be happy with.

(Not to mention I can always fall back on my illustration skills should an animation career fall through. ;3 )</sup>